I approach her. She’s borderline hysterical. She was thinking about him. That’s what she usually calls him. She can’t stand his name. Sometimes she’ll refer to him as her ex, but usually he’s just ‘him’. I make sure she hears me approaching. She looks at me briefly, her eyes blurred with tears, and nods. She turns away. I come closer, slowly, and wrap my arms around her. I have her arms in an ‘X’ pattern and I hold them there. I hold her close to me as she cries. She can’t move, and she continues to bawl in my arms. She probably saw a photo, a post, some sort of trigger. Or she could have just been thinking about high school, about him, about all the different ways he touched her, about all the pain he’s caused her, about all the pain that is still here, years later. About the pain she fears may never go away. She’s shaking in my arms and I’m all that’s holding her steady. Here, held so tight, she is able to let go. She is able to not be as strong as she always is. She is able to. ” He shrugged again, picked up a couple of the suitcases and headed back upstairs.Much later Jane was in her room unpacking and noticed that her closet door had been left open, something she never did. She stared at it for a few seconds...then shook her head. She’d probably done it that morning when they’d all been in a hurry to leave and she was still half-asleep.No matter. She was home and she was going to call Peter right now! She dialed his house, smiling in anticipation of the sound of his voice, but his father answered and told her Peter was at work and would be there until closing. Of course, she thought as she hung up. It was Saturday afternoon, where else would he be? She reached to pick up the phone and call the store—then hesitated. Then she smiled. She would ride her bike down to the store and surprise him at closing time.She looked down at her injured foot. It was still heavily bandaged but she was sure she’d be able to ride her bike. And besides she was still.
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